I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize