So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Randomize
