You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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