I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize