Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
the night ended with taco bell and tears
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
