Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
