So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
