why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
