yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
