I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Someone came in the potted fern
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
