make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
