people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
