I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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