Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
