Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize