Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
