erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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