I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
