I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize