careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Im part way to drunk.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
