Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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