he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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