Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
In America we eat man semen.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
