it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize