he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Randomize
