Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
