like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
