I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
