Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
