It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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