he thought i was a dude.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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