Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
