D3 body, D1 cock
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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