I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
