Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
