Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I think your dad took our porno
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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