i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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