My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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