after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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