Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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