are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
