So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
