Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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