I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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