I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
