Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Randomize
