I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
