do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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