Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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