some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
