Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
she peed on how many people?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
