If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
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