Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize