Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
