Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
