look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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