She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize