So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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