if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
