Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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