she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
it's like iHOP with fire
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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