I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
