We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
